Title and Registration

Stan Littlefield is your average man. Lives in the average city apartment, alone. With a normal job where he sits at the computer all day long and types complete garbage onto a dimly lit screen. Walks from his apartment to work, regardless the weather to maintain his physique. Which honestly, after all of the late night McDonald's runs, isn't working out. Gets his hair cut every two weeks at the local Sports Clips half a block away from his apartment, and showers and brushes his teeth twice a day. Until one day, while on his walk home he is struck by lightning. Electricity illuminating from his body, he lies there. A crowd of bypassers surround his lifeless body as his eyes shoot open to the most immaculate woman he's ever laid eyes upon. He closes his eyes again as the sounds of ambulances and flashing lights take him over. Waking up alone in a hospital room, he touches the alarm clock on the nightstand next to him only to watch it explode. Tries to turn on the lamp, but it explodes as well. Looking down at his hands, he sees a glow from within his veins. Looking outside the window, he sees an ambulance being hosed down by local firefighters.

Will he ever meet this girl again?
Is there a cure for his newfound disease?
Why is he alone?

Blurbs

Never Forget You - Lupe Fiasco

Have you ever walked through life without ever looking up to see the surroundings? Skylar White did this for the first 23 years of his life, and is now realizing he is a lot more successful than he had anticipated. Not knowing what to expect out of the future, he recalls the good times of the past and the bad things going on in the world. Each day he strives to remind everyone at how good being alive actually is, one person at a time.

 Landed - Ben Folds

How do you say goodbye to your whole entire life? When all you do is make excuses to keep her around. This is the life of Todd Silverman. Holding onto something that had left him a long time ago, he moves away to Seattle, to sit in the rain, and wait for someone to come and pick him up.

 Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

You know that thing that is constantly running through your mind? The person that you would give anything for, but they don’t know you exist. You want to show them the real you, just scared of the outcome. John String puts himself out there, for better or for worse.

My Story

Hey, what's going on? I don't ever know how to start these things. What has television come to? This is so weird. How do kids enjoy this crap? A show named Fred, honestly? It's not hard to suck up a whole balloon filled with helium and then act like you're seven. Fred, grow up. He's acting jealous over a band-geek-bully who can only play Wang Chung's "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" on the piano. Then move onto 'Chopsticks' - way to impress the ladies, Fred. My baby cousin can play that, and she's 3.
The more this show goes on, the more I want to find him and kill him with a spoon. How do kids enjoy this crap? Seriously? Why can't kids enjoy normal shows, about normal people like 'Drake & Josh'? A great show about a semi-nerdy fat kid who becomes step brothers with a boy who plays guitar, and makes out with girls. Even look at 'Spongebob Squarepants'. A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, and a crab with whale for a daughter. I don't even want to know about the third one.
What happened to the good ol' cartoons like Tom & Jerry, or Ed, Edd, and Eddy? Oh, some writer thought that kids wanted to watch a 16 year old boy freak out like a five year old, or see how Phineas and Ferb file for bankruptcy after one summer.
I love television. And Sundays I get to spend all day watching it.

Love, Ralph.

Untitled.

I wanna have a dream
my dearest friends close in around me
Life's waiting to begin.

Here I am -
I cannot breathe
My hope has burned over time.

My eyes are burned open
As I wake up
and, I'm still alive.

Here we go.

Sincere Letter to a Toilet

Dear Toilet,

How are you? Honestly? Do you wish you were another brand? or had a wider base?
What about the people that sit on you? Too fat, too skinny? Tell me about it.

To be honest, I've never written a letter to a toilet before, but we do new things every day. For example, you might take a spider wrapped up in toilet paper. Speaking of toilet paper. How are you two? I hope you're working things out. Honestly, cheating on him with the plunger probably wasn't the best idea. I mean, I knew you weren't flushing right, but c'mon! The plunger? Nevermind.
I don't have many positive things to say about that one. I just can't stand seeing you flush away what you have with toilet paper. For heavens sakes. Can't you tell that the plunger gets around? I mean, no offense but he's kind of a player. He hits up all the other toilets in the house. I just.. I don't get it, just because he has a stick he thinks he can just go around and 'help out' the other toilets in the house. Whatever.. stupid players. I mean plungers.

Now I'm feeling angry, so I hope you have a nice day. Try not to get 'clogged' this week.

Sincerely,
     Soap in the Shower

P.S. You're looking kind of dirty.

You.

The iPod doesn't lie. When in doubt, put it on shuffle.

Dear You,

How are you? I hate small talk.

You, what about you?
When I think of you, what do I think of?

Sunshines, and butterflies, and rainbows?
No.
Not exactly.
I think about jealousy, passion, and what teenagers call 'love'.
It's riding a roller coaster, you are.
Not literally, pervert. But emotionally, you're 'Wicked'.

You, I can't stop thinking about you now.
I want you out, please.
Actually, since you're here.
Stay, have a cup of hot cocoa.
It is kind of chilly out.

I miss you.
But, that'll be our little secret.
You put me in a vertigo, each and every day.
I like not knowing which way is up.

Because, I'm thinking about you.
And that's all that matters.

Have a nice day.

Yours truly, Ralph.

Honey-Do List

You have been given direct orders to rock out.

Rock out like it's Halloween night, and you've got your Superman suit on, with your empty bag and a mindset to say "trick-or-treat" as many times as you can. Rock out like it's the last day of school, the biggest game of your life, like you just got an 'A' on your math test.

Rock out like you just filled your pillowcase with candy, like you just won the State championship, like you had the highest score in the class.

Rock out like she said 'yes'.


Rock out like you got all 7 digits this time.


Rock out like you just got paid. And yes, it's time for the money dance.

Rock out like you're black and you're proud.
Rock out like James Brown did while singing that song.

Rock out like you just found out that 2Pac, Biggie, and Michael Jackson are actually just chillin' in Tahiti.

Rock out like they didn't die.
Rock out because of what they did.

Rock out like you've got nothing but a chair, the sand, the ocean, a pretty girl, a notebook, a pen, and a cool glass of strawberry lemonade.

Rock out like Happy Gilmore when he finds his 'Happy Place'.

Rock out like the streets are empty, and all you want is to dance with your girl.
Rock out like you finally kissed the girl.

Rock out like you just hiked Mt Everest, and you're staring off the back edge gazing at the rest of the world.

Rock out like today is the last day of your life,
                                                            you just don't know it yet.