If You Really Knew Me.

If you really knew me

you'd know I'm the shortest of my brothers, which is quite astonishing
since I'm six feet tall.

you'd know I don't like my hair, and I am petrified of leaving my parents.

you'd know I am way too comfortable around some people.

If you really knew me, you'd know I would much rather be out than home,
I regret pieces of my past,
and I can't wait to be a dad.

you'd know I hate sitting, unless I'm with a girl.

you'd know I'm extremely indecisive,
you'd know I'm distracted all too easily,
and I forget things, a lot.

you'd know I love pasta.

you'd know I secretly have a crush on Adele.

you'd know that not much excites me.
I have high expectations for everything,
except myself.

If you really knew me you'd know it doesn't take much to make me jealous,
and that I would much rather type than write on paper.

you'd know that I love my mother more than anyone else in this world, even if I don't show it all of the time.

you'd know that I'm not anywhere close to perfect, but then again.
Neither are you.

Jealousy

In a strange, peculiar way, everything and everyone makes me jealous.
Everyone has something that I want, or they are something that I am not.

I read and hear so many poems that are amazing that I just can't decide which one I could focus this post about. So here I am, going to talk about what really makes me jealous.

Seeing all of the comments that have been posted on my blog, I suppose just nobody reads it so now I'm not holding anything back, and trying to be as real as the next kid.

I'm jealous when people are happy.
When people are in love.
When everything seems to be going right for them,
while my life seems to be out of control.
I'm jealous of just about everything people have.
Except herpes.
Or any other disease to be honest.
I'm jealous when people are talented.
I'm jealous when people have a desire.
I'm jealous of people that have a dream.
I'm jealous of everyone in one way or another.
I'm jealous of people who are rich.
I'm jealous of people who drive nice cars,
or have super-model wives.
I'm jealous of kids that seem to have it all figured out.
I'm jealous of kids that can play the piano and sing.
At the same time.
I'm jealous of everyone in some way,
but if I had to choose mine or another.
I would be an idiot to say I was anything but undeniably happy.
I'm not jealous of anything, when I realize at how great my life really is.
I love my life(period)

Become a Fan.

This is for the lurps.

This is for the ungrateful teachers.


This is for the child with his hands down his pants.


This is for the people who wear white collars to work,
and those who wear blue.
This is for the people who don't wear anything to work,
and the people who don't work.

This is for the bass players.

Become a fan.

This is for the tweeters,
and the Facebookers,
and the bloggers,
and the pinterest-ers?

This is for the dreamers,
and the realists.

This is for the insomniacs,
and Rocky Balboa,
and Philidelphia.

Become a fan.

This is for the beauticians,
and the magicians.
And anyone who ever tried to dream after fourteen.

This is for the elderly who still hold hands.

This is for the dead,
and this is for the kid who gets picked last in gym class.

This is for the fingerless,
and the blind.

This is for the 'perfect' girls.

This is for the undercover whores,
and for the tuba players.

Become a fan.

This is for the 9 to 5-ers,
and the avid smokers.

This is for the addiction,
and the ones it holds underneath unclean fingernails.

This is for more than you.

Become a fan.

This is for idealists,
and the atheists.

This is for the kid who never had a dream.
This is for the sweet talkers,
the desperate teenagers,
and the emotionless lovers.

Become a fan.

Forget who you are for one simple day.
Become absorbed in something bigger than yourself.
Sit back, and enjoy the game.
Eat some popcorn.
Become a fan.

There's so many things to do in this exotic world.
So, I'll pose my question.
Why not?
Explore.
Walk.
Hike.
Dream.
Be a kid again.
Smoke.
Breathe.
Drink.
Run.
Write.
Make-out.
Have fun.
Get in trouble.
Ride a bike.
Swim.
Scrape your knee.
Cut your hair.
Plant a tree.
Live.
Breathe.
Become a fan.
Sit back, and enjoy the game.

Good Ghandi, I'm writing again.

I want something. The only problem is, is that I keep forgetting what I want. The world keeps evolving too fast for my mind to analyze, and then react. So I sit here emotionless, quietly trying to figure out what is happening to all of us.
One day, I will be somebody. The morbid truth behind that is I keep forgetting that day is going to be the day I die. I'll be in the morning news' obituary. I can see it now. It won't be a big article, just a few lines stating my name and showing the world that I am a somebody. Was a somebody.
But now I'm six feet under, with one question on my mind.

"When will we own ourselves completely?"

And from the moment my blood stopped pulsing through my veins, I started pondering if it was the moment I 'became a man', or maybe when I committed my first sin, or when my emotions died.

I want to know when I will own myself completely. I just keep forgetting it can't be in this life. It just can't be, and that is something I do know. No matter how old you are, single or not, you are owned by something, or someone.
Looking at people from my perspective, everyone is trapped in a dark tunnel, and they don't know how to get out. Since nobody in this world knows how to do anything for themselves, they turn to whatever resources are necessary to escape the darkness. Some believe in turning to a God to help, and people will scratch, claw, push, and do whatever is necessary to be free.
Everyone keeps forgetting they're owned. Teenagers are owned by their parents, couples are owned by their spouse, and single people are owned by things such as fast food, Call of Duty, and work.
So the question arises again, when will I own myself completely? My answer is never.
I have heard that drugs will free your mind, and make you free. What confuses me is that I can't understand what are they free from. You are completely owned by the drugs the second it touches your lips, nose, or bloodstream. It's called addiction.
I keep forgetting that one day, we're all going to die. The world will be nothing more than an unmoving, lifeless planet. But tonight, I'm not going to die. I'm too strong to stop. There's still so much I haven't done yet, and I will do. "Make love to 'Let's Get It On' by Marvin Gaye" is on that list and I will do that before I walk into the light. When people almost die, they say they see a light. A light at the end of a tunnel.
Is death the only form of freedom?
For as much as we living beings know, yes.
Tonight, I don't want to see that light.
But tonight is not the last time I'll see the light.

People live to be 100 years old, and they can tell stories upon stories.
I'm 17 years old without a story to tell.

Tonight is not the last time I will see the light.

I still have a story to tell.

Title and Registration

Stan Littlefield is your average man. Lives in the average city apartment, alone. With a normal job where he sits at the computer all day long and types complete garbage onto a dimly lit screen. Walks from his apartment to work, regardless the weather to maintain his physique. Which honestly, after all of the late night McDonald's runs, isn't working out. Gets his hair cut every two weeks at the local Sports Clips half a block away from his apartment, and showers and brushes his teeth twice a day. Until one day, while on his walk home he is struck by lightning. Electricity illuminating from his body, he lies there. A crowd of bypassers surround his lifeless body as his eyes shoot open to the most immaculate woman he's ever laid eyes upon. He closes his eyes again as the sounds of ambulances and flashing lights take him over. Waking up alone in a hospital room, he touches the alarm clock on the nightstand next to him only to watch it explode. Tries to turn on the lamp, but it explodes as well. Looking down at his hands, he sees a glow from within his veins. Looking outside the window, he sees an ambulance being hosed down by local firefighters.

Will he ever meet this girl again?
Is there a cure for his newfound disease?
Why is he alone?

Blurbs

Never Forget You - Lupe Fiasco

Have you ever walked through life without ever looking up to see the surroundings? Skylar White did this for the first 23 years of his life, and is now realizing he is a lot more successful than he had anticipated. Not knowing what to expect out of the future, he recalls the good times of the past and the bad things going on in the world. Each day he strives to remind everyone at how good being alive actually is, one person at a time.

 Landed - Ben Folds

How do you say goodbye to your whole entire life? When all you do is make excuses to keep her around. This is the life of Todd Silverman. Holding onto something that had left him a long time ago, he moves away to Seattle, to sit in the rain, and wait for someone to come and pick him up.

 Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

You know that thing that is constantly running through your mind? The person that you would give anything for, but they don’t know you exist. You want to show them the real you, just scared of the outcome. John String puts himself out there, for better or for worse.

My Story

Hey, what's going on? I don't ever know how to start these things. What has television come to? This is so weird. How do kids enjoy this crap? A show named Fred, honestly? It's not hard to suck up a whole balloon filled with helium and then act like you're seven. Fred, grow up. He's acting jealous over a band-geek-bully who can only play Wang Chung's "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" on the piano. Then move onto 'Chopsticks' - way to impress the ladies, Fred. My baby cousin can play that, and she's 3.
The more this show goes on, the more I want to find him and kill him with a spoon. How do kids enjoy this crap? Seriously? Why can't kids enjoy normal shows, about normal people like 'Drake & Josh'? A great show about a semi-nerdy fat kid who becomes step brothers with a boy who plays guitar, and makes out with girls. Even look at 'Spongebob Squarepants'. A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, and a crab with whale for a daughter. I don't even want to know about the third one.
What happened to the good ol' cartoons like Tom & Jerry, or Ed, Edd, and Eddy? Oh, some writer thought that kids wanted to watch a 16 year old boy freak out like a five year old, or see how Phineas and Ferb file for bankruptcy after one summer.
I love television. And Sundays I get to spend all day watching it.

Love, Ralph.